The Love Story of a Nakodile
by ladyaqua99
Summary: This is what happens when you were just pretending to be a nakodile when somebody asks you your OTP. You get the ultimate pairing; nakodile x ishades. This story is total nonsense and should never be taken seriously, ever. Crackfic oneshots for the win!


((Holy cow I've been neglecting fanfic... Sadly, I have been uninspired lately. Have a crackfic in apology!))

_**Author: BE THE NAKODILE!**_

… You're giving ME orders? Why? Are you expecting an Equius-like reaction? Because you're not getting one. And aren't you rushing this just a tiny bit? Jegus.

_**Author: Write an author's note**_

Now we're talking! Alright, so this story is really crazy. The idea wandered into my head yesterday (from my perspective), so now I have to write it all down And here's the best part; this story contains what is just about the best nonsense pairing ever. Nakodile x ishades. Why? Because I can.

_**Author: Support all the pairings that have Dave in them**_

… Can we just get this show on the road already?

_**Author: Be the nakodile!**_

I am now the nakodile. I'm just running around this gold temple thingy, nakking away. This was just a regular day. That is, until I saw them. Those beautiful glasses. They were resting on the nose of a sleeping human boy. I was absolutely entranced by the beauty of those black eye-covers. The way they glinted in the light made my heart flutter. _Is this love? Will these gorgeous shades fill the emptiness I have been feeling in my reptilian heart for so long? _I can't believe I just typed that. Wait, I _didn't _type that, I'm a nakodile right now.

_**Author: Make out with yourself**_

Stop getting off topic! … Besides, kind of impossible for me.

_**Nakodile: Retrieve your beloved ishades**_

What are ishades? Is that the name of these beautiful glasses? That is a wonderful name. I take them off the human's sleeping nose as sneakily as I can. Which isn't very sneakily at all. But, wonder of wonders, the boy did not awake.

I could hardly believe this was happening. It was as if all of a sudden I had all the luck. All of it! I had actually found true love. Looking about at my peers, I could see that they would try to steal my love from me. That simply would not do! So, to defend my beloved, I picked a sord up off the ground. This mighty blade seemed to scare the would-be suitors away.

_**Author: Tell us all of your secrets! All of them.**_

Heck no. Jeez, you need to make up your mind whether you're commanding me or the nakodile. I suggest the nakodile, I can get slightly boring at times.

_**Nakodile: SWOON**_

I was making sure the other nakodiles stayed well away, when it happened. The glasses spoke to me. _This is it! C'mon, strike up a conversation! _"nak nak nak." _Stupid, stupid, stupid! What if it doesn't like to bungee jump?! Ugh, I am so dumb sometimes!_

"What?"

"AAAAAH THE GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME!" I was shouting with joy at the purple words that came to me.

"I'll come back later." _No! Don't leave me, my love! Keep speaking to me! Please?_

_**Nakodile: Swoon x2 combo!**_

I don't understand any of that. But I'll try. The glasses spoke two more times. One was green, but I'd rather not talk about that one. It wasn't very fun. The other one, however, was when the purple words returned. My heart skipped a beat. "nak nak nak." More words. "AAAH THE GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME AGAIN!" Oh, how I would to sing a song for these beautiful shades if only I actually knew what the heck singing is. I could stand here and talk to my beloved all day. But then the boy awoke.

The odd thing is, that the instant he awoke he was suddenly wearing another pair of shades. These shades, however, could never even dream of having beauty that compared to the ishades. He noticed that I had the glasses, and snatched them away from me. I nakked in protest, but he shoved me away. There is no way I could defeat such a powerful adversary, mighty sord or no. So, I just let out another unhappy nak and let him take the glasses back. They were his in the first place, after all, so who am I to keep him from them?

_**TIME SKIP**_

PCHOOOOOOOOOOOO

_**Future Nakodile: Reminisce over the love you had to let go**_

I have always been reminiscing. Those radiant shades have never once left my mind. _My love, where are you now? Do you still think of me? Are you happy doing whatever you're doing now? Do you remember the wonderful times we've had?_

_I miss you._

_**Author: Explain what the heck just happened**_

I'm not sure I can. Love stories are better left unexplained, no?

_**Nakodile: Say goodbye to the readers**_

NAK NAK NAK

This program has been brought to you by Faygo. HoNk HoNk :o)


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